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Since you asked…

**warning… this post contains inappropriate language… I’m sorry I can’t help it sometimes**

As for the pumpkin muffins:
After 12 {yes 12} weeks I decided it was high time we actually all go somewhere besides the park. I fed the baby, changed his diaper and prayed that he would behave. I even allowed Morgan to go put her bathing suit on because she wanted to wear it under her clothes… don’t ask me! She’s 3. At Erika‘s recommendation we were on a mission to Sam’s for a box containing 3 packages of Krusteaz Pumpkin Bread Mix. {Which wasn’t anywhere where I thought I might find it and eventually after calling Erika and asking 2 employees we finally located it.} John Martin looks a little annoyed in this picture. He went from a little annoyed to “you’d think someone was stabbing him” annoyed.

Yes, I took a picture {to share with my mother} because this was what I thought was going to be a monumental accomplishment. Well, my monumental accomplishment turned into a monumental disaster. I tried to carry him. Nope. Can’t push a giant Sam’s cart with one hand & hold a screamer with another. So I strapped him back in and ran like hell to get out of there. A little old lady thought it would be appropriate to stop me on my run for the cashier to ask me “what is wrong with your baby?” I explained that nothing was wrong. She continued on to tell me that “really something must be wrong with him”… I was in no mood to converse with her about whether something was wrong or not. “Out of my way old hag!” don’t worry I thought it but didn’t say it. We proceeded to the check-out lane where the cashier lovingly rolled her eyes at me and I wanted to ask her if she thought I was enjoying listening to him. Anyway, we finally made it to the car where he decided he would stop crying. I called Justin on the phone and told him I would not be leaving the house again with all 3 for at least 12 more weeks. And I thought to myself this better be the best damn pumpkin bread I’ve ever tasted or I may never speak to Erika again!

So, the pumpkin muffins were made from this… and wait the story’s not over yet…While preheating the oven to make the muffins my house begins to smell like smoke. What could it be? Morgan continued to say over and over again, “Mommy, something in our house smells nasty!” Well, lo and behold… we left taco shells in the oven from dinner the night before. They shriveled up, turned black and the whole house filled with smoke. I’d photograph them too but I threw the baking sheet on the patio and I see the family dog didn’t think they were too bad.

Were they worth it… yes. They were good… for quick bread! You can’t beat {no pun intended}: add water, oil, eggs & stir. I sprayed & floured the muffin pan too so they’d fall right now. They were especially good smothered in cream cheese that I creamed with a little sour cream & sweetened with a few tablespoons of sugar! Mmmm!

Last fall when I only had 2 kids my favorite recipe was Granny Kat’s Pumpkin Roll I really think I made 6 of them {Shireen, is this what you’re making?!}… it’s a little more involved than “mix and bake” but definitely worth it! Once I recover from this baking experience I may give it a shot again.

The shoes came from Shoe Carnival last fall and they say Brown’s Landing in the sole.

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  • Katie
    September 24, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    I wish you would have said the “outta my way old hag” comment out loud…that would have made my day!

    funny story though nevertheless!

  • Becky Brodbeck
    September 24, 2008 at 1:48 pm

    Darby-you crack me up!YOu have so many interesting “adventures” Sorry your outing didn’t turn out well but you got yummy muffins out of the fiasco. Love ya!

  • Cason & Darci
    September 24, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    Hi Darby-

    Really random question and not related to this post at all ………can you recommend any great online fabric stores? I’m searching for some great “fall” fabric to make curtains for our kitchen and haven’t had a lot of luck.

    Thanks in advance!

  • megan
    September 24, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    i love your stories.
    thank you for sharing it, the recipe (your’s are always great), and the shoes (too cute!)
    sorry to hear about the old hag and rude sales associate.

  • becky
    September 24, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    don’t you just LOVE little old ladies that know it all? and what is it about our last little “pumpkins” that have seriously added a ton of work to going out with them?? they should just sleep in their little seats and go with the flow…..bahhahaha…little sis will have none of that!! sounds like JM is of like mind.

  • The Wilsons
    September 24, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Oh MY! I may be rethinking 3!! JUST KIDDING – classic story. You deserve a BIG glass of vino tonight:)

  • Laura
    September 24, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    Truly hilarious…I’m still laughing, as I can picture the entire event. Isn’t it great how the most normal things can end up so funny? I’m sure you were stressed, but at least you gave it a whirl. I’ll have to try the pumpkin mix. I usually make pumpkin bars w/the cream cheese icing during the fall…what a great treat for a great time of year. I’m sure the girls appreciated all of your efforts!

  • The Pavliches
    September 24, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Goodness, I can relate. But when I learned to embrace the chaos it became much more fun and hilarious. It is not considered Sane to take 3 or 4 kids to the grocery, but it is a fact of life and definitely a prompt for some of the greatest stories! And I LOVE the looks and comments I get, especially when a little one is licking the shopping cart!

  • Courtney
    September 24, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    I can’t even imagine! But the moral of this story is you deserve to eat that entire 3-package box of bread mix all my yourself. And the good Lord will waive all fat grams and calories.

  • Jennie-Marie
    September 24, 2008 at 6:31 pm

    Oh my mercy I’m still laughing at this post! Sorry your outing was not so great but I’m so impressed you went for it; Sam’s is overwhelming without children. Sorry about the old hag, I’m sure she thought she was helping, i’m just glad it was you and not someone “less nice” that would have run her over. thanks for the laugh! I do hope you are kind of laughing about it now, ok maybe in 10 years you will laugh about it.

  • Abby Maddox
    September 24, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    I laughed so hard about the old hag comment :)! SO HARD! I hate when people feel the need to throw their two cents in. I wish you’d siad it out loud, Old Hag!

  • Dianne
    September 24, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    You get A+ for trying. I hope you have your feet up tonight and hubby is doing all the work. An outing like that can exhaust a girl. LOL
    I enjoy your stories so much.

  • Amy
    September 24, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    I have been a stalker for a while now, I even have you linked on my blog. I laughed out loud reading this post. I have 3 children so I feel your pain. Seriously. I do. 12 weeks…I suggest that you wait at least 6 months. Maybe longer. Your posts always make me smile. Hope you get lots of sleep, have a nice, quiet day, and that a magical fairy shows up and cleans your house over night. If said fairy does appear, please send her to Birmingham. We’ll be waiting on her.

  • Lindsey
    September 24, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    So sorry for the craziness, but you get an E for effort! Hope the pumpkin bread was worth it. I’m with pumpkin flavor is one of the best parts of fall. Thanks for sharing real life. Love you

  • simply seleta
    September 24, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    How funny, I too burned taco shells tonight. They were so brown and smelled like #$!@% . The three year old was in the kitchen with me and actually said, “dinner smells interesting tonight, mommy”. The rest of dinner tasted like prison food. I could taste that my heart wasn’t into cooking tonight.

    And yes, I feel your pain! I took all 4 of mine to the grocery store the other day and after that I would have popped meds if a random stranger offered some to me. Any kind.

    Sounds like little man is going through that challenging off an on screaming phase, boy do I remember that. Where they want to be snuggled and held at the most inopportune times. I pray for your energy right now. And hope that sitter is still helping you out!

  • Wright Family
    September 24, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    you are so funny, Darby! I have wondered what it must be like to go out with 3 since sometimes 2 takes all the energy I can muster!

  • Ashley
    September 24, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    Darby! I just love reading your blog— I am usually laughing for days. I can totally understand how it is to take three kids out by your self! I think I only left the house a hand full of times until Ryan was over a year or until I stopped breast feeding. It’s so much easier to put a bottle in their mouth. When you have so much going on I could totally see how the taco shells were left in the oven! Your pumpkin muffins look wonderful. Take care

  • Alison
    September 24, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    Too funny. My #2 is one of those kids that screams unless you pick her up in a store (something I swore up and down I would NEVER do). I’ve found if you pull the Sam’s carts (or any cart for that matter), it is much easier to manuever around. My friend with twins gave me that advice. Seems so logical, but never crossed my mind…

  • Beth G.
    September 24, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    Oh my!! I am ashamed to say I have only been out with my two kids twice alone and Anderson will be a year in October!!

    I hope you enjoyed every bite!

  • Haydee
    September 24, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    You poor thing! This is why I wonder if I could be sane if I had more kids…I was scared to leave the house with just my two until very recently. And yeah, why do people stare at us annoyingly when our children cry as if we like it that way, or can help it for that matter.

  • Jennifer
    September 25, 2008 at 4:24 am

    Well, at least you went out and tried it!

    I always have these ideal visions of how some of our outings will be (three happy little children obeying mom, being very agreeable and enjoying our time – I know, silly me)and often times the reality isn’t pretty!! I leave thinking “Why did I EVER think this would be fun?” And Ben at 3 is so silly…Alex feeds off him (because EVERYTHING is funny when you’re 7) and those two just wind each other up. They’re nuts together! Kate is very good, but she gets annoyed at her brothers antics and starts crying because they’re “bothering” her.

    Hope you had a big piece of pumpkin bread and an even bigger glass of wine last night!

    Keep that Friday sitter coming!

  • Kellie Patton
    September 25, 2008 at 5:18 am

    I attempted to take my 3 to CVS to get pictures printed out when Henderson was about 4 weeks old – it was a disaster – Henderson was screaming uncontrollably, Wilson was climbing in and out of the buggy and Emma Claire, bless her heart, tee teed right there in the floor – I promised myself I would never do it again, but I did a couple of weeks later- to Target, and it was a good trip – I did make sure the baby was fed, Wilson was fastened in and EC had been to the bathroom though!!!! =) Life’s journeys!!! I can’t wait to try the pumpkin muffins! thanks for sharing your life!

  • Household6
    September 25, 2008 at 6:14 am

    This too shall pass my friend….it does and will get easier.

    You know when I get the maddest is when my children (or I for that matter) are acting in a way I swore none of us would act in public. I’ve called my Mother crying more then once and said “These can’t be my children, how utterly embarrassing”…to which she reminds me to never compare myself to others (which I do more then I should!).

    Before you know it going out with all three will be a breeze, trust me, I know, I take four out all the time. We often look like quite the ragamuffin band and yet I often have friends tell me that I look like I have it all together all the time….boy do I have them fooled!


  • Jessica
    September 25, 2008 at 6:58 am

    I have stalked for a while now and LOVE your blog and hearing the stories about your family. I have 2 small children myself and have learned to pull the cart insead of push and it is ALOT easier when you have the screamer in your arms!!! Good luck with your next shopping trip!!!
    PS – WE LOVE our t-shirts!!!

  • Kristen
    September 25, 2008 at 7:53 am

    I know this was not funny when it was happening but it is TOO funny to hear you tell about it! I will not stress out again about taking 2 out…you are brave to tackle all 3! Wish I could have held him in the parking lot for you!

  • the brown's
    September 25, 2008 at 9:07 am

    oh my! tat is too funny– i am rolling…

    many many props to you for venturing out with all 3!!!

    thanks for re-living it for us– i’m quite sure it brought a lot of smiles!!

  • Lindsey
    September 25, 2008 at 10:33 am

    darby, i am laughing out loud. that is hilarious! thank you for sharing your story. i can relate and i only have two?! hope you have a very relaxing weekend! **i’ve been meaning to send you a picture of the kids in their auburn shirts. maybe one day!

  • Shireen
    September 25, 2008 at 11:20 am

    Yes!!! That’s the pumpkin roll that I want to make! So far, I’ve only made the filling, and I’ve just been eating it…working myself up to making the pumpkin part! 🙂 It does look much more complicated, so I was thinking about just making pumpkin muffins and either spreading the filling on top or inserting it into each muffin with the correct icing tool…I’d have to buy that….probably not going to happen. 🙂 I don’t see myself using it often enough to justify that expense and storage space! 🙂 I’ll bet that’s your train of thought in my “predicament,” too! 😉

    Darby, you’re HILARIOUS! LOVED your honesty about the “old hag” and how fast you were traveling through the store! 🙂

    John Martin hates shopping, evidently. I wish I could have kept him (and the girls?) while you went shopping!

    Love you girl!

  • Annmarie
    September 25, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    Darby – You are too funny! I thought I was all cool today with only 3 kids. Made it to Trader Joe’s 20 minutes away, and never made it inside. Ned insisting he had to sit in the shopping carriage seat, and (8 month old) Nora could walk. I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, turned around and went home. Welcome to ‘more kids than hands to hold them” club!! XO

  • andi
    September 25, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    I love the synopsis of the trip to Sam’s! I seriously can’t believe someone stopped you in the dash to the cashier!!!!!!! Bless you! I am quit certain your head was spinning. When baby D. was little, I would strap him in the Bjiorn(sp?) and pull the two older ones in a stroller and push the cart with one hand. We would go to the bank and get suckers before we got there, then the older boys had a motivation for being well behaved. People actually started to recognize me as the lady they saw at Walmart with the stroller and the baby. I used the cart cover as D. could sit up on his own. It does get easier, I promise! Thanks for your sweet comment, I loved getting to fellowship with you last night! 🙂

  • Julie Wolfe
    September 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    You are hilarious! Why do some of these older people not think we know what we’re doing (well maybe we don’t but it’s not their place to question!) Love ya girl!

  • busy momma
    September 25, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    You always make me laugh! I wish you were just down the street rather than a bloggy world friend though 🙁 It sounds like we would really get along 🙂
    Thanks for the quick ship on the tees- LOVE them!
    War eagle! I wish we would be in the stands with you this weekend, but we are going to two birthday parties instead- ugh! It might have been cheaper to drive to the Plains!

  • Michelle
    September 26, 2008 at 6:02 pm

    I have those shoes & LOVE them! Mine were from Sears weirdly enough, one of my most favorite black Friday deals last year.

  • jeana
    September 28, 2008 at 5:53 am

    This CRACKED me up, Darby!! I TOTALLY relate! I pretty much stay home these days too. 🙂 Going from 2 to 3 has sent me over the edge …. but the older the baby gets it has gotten easier. 🙂

    Hope you are enjoying a fun weekend baby free!

    Love you. xoxo

  • thelaundryisneverfinished
    September 29, 2008 at 11:07 am

    I always kick myself after I decide to venture forth with my TWO kids. They are…at that age. That impossible-in-public age. Especially in the grocery store. 🙂
    You deserve grand kudos, even if it didn’t turn out as well as you had hoped!

  • Brooke
    October 2, 2008 at 7:16 pm

    i am laughing out loud about the old hag because that happens to me all the time! b/c Jake is a screamer. it’s like people think i am making them cry or look like a deliquent kid trying to wrangle a baby!!!! miss ya darbs!

  • J
    October 3, 2008 at 8:16 am

    This made me LAUGH SO HARD!!! Especially to hear your thoughts…